Water Under The Bridge

Faster Than A Speeding Roomba

I'm working on a story that God willing, I may finish. If I do, I will post it chapter-by-chapter, and then look to find a way to edit it better and publish it. If I'm satisfied, it may be a unique glimpse into my mind.

Not that you really wanted that, but y'know...

Side-Ku:

How many chapters
Make a book when you don't know
Where it's going to?

Yvonne, oh, Yvonne. What can we say about thee, Ms. Fulbright?

While it’s easy to fault ignorant or intimidated males for not stepping up or evolving themselves, it’s no wonder that they don’t know what to do. They haven’t been bred to handle this new breed of babes. The results have been nothing but disastrous on the dating front, as women have told me:

Rather, It is better to say, What can we say about thee that thou hast not said about thyself?

Where to start? Well, ok, here's where I'll start. Yvonne is wrong. She's not wrong in that - based on her premises - she came to the wrong conclusion. Her premises are wrong. Allow me:

This woman wants love, companionship, and commitment. And she’s willing to put herself out there for it. But — and this is a huge but — she’s not willing to compromise who she is or what she has rightfully earned, as is often the expectation.

This is an ambiguous statement. It doesn't differentiate her from most other women (or men.) Who exactly is she, this woman?

Thankfully, this is provided:

"Did you get that thing
Woot sent you?" ... Like Shopping Channel
But In Slow Motion...

If I could see into the future I could figure out what days I should check the site!

Is so yuppie that it needs a haiku dedicated to it.

Vegetarians
Big City Part Time Fair Traders
Review me on Yelp!

Actually, that's too sparse. We can afford another:

Join us, change the world
One exquisite overpriced
Business at a time!

Its like, ECON 100 for lefties. Here, feel good about trucking and bartering!

Not that I've got anything against them - more power to 'em.

What will I do now
That I can't access facebook
Will I have to work?

Dude. No facebook? How are people supposed to read my social ads, then? Darn you, the man, and your information control!

I realize now
That chickens, yes chickens are
vegetable-based!

And all of the grass?
In one way or another
is made of meat. Meat!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled Lent...

Be careful o'er there
If you own too much junk then
You prob'ly bought it.

BONUS DOUBLE DANGER HAIKU: 'Stop Complaining about the Economy'

Seriously, man
Watching national news makes
The waters muddy:

"As we continue
Our series where we try to
Make things look bad."

Here's a test for you
Who gets your ten percent when
It goes in the tin?

The answer is, of course, you.

There's a unique verse in the scriptures, in which God invites us to test him on the veracity of his claim that we will be blessed in tithing. Generally speaking the rule is, "Do not test the Lord your God". Now, being a reasonable person I would assume that God would not demand something of us - and ask us to test him - without good reason.

The subject of tithing is often treated like a caged animal, to be dealt with using a chair or ringed pole, but I'm going to get right in the cage and grab it by the neck. The other half of the world treats tithing - or giving - as though it is some kind of mystical, magical path to increased wealth. Knowing where money comes from helps one recognize that this simply cannot be.

Let me do it this way, I'll talk about two 'ad absurdums', i.e, extreme cases, and then explain why I would bother talking about them if this is about tithing. Here goes:

The Economics of Hoarding:

Hoarding means, basically, that I take and receive only; and give nothing. While in limited circumstances this can be an advantageous play, if it is done by everyone it will result in universal poverty. Unless we assume that each 'unit' is a fully self-sufficient micro-society with all the resources it needs (which is impossible) we can safely assume that hoarders will end up with too much of what they make, and too little of what they don't. To get other things they must be stolen, taken, etc. If everyone hoards, then there is no trade; money or no money it's a disaster.

The Economics of Sacrifice:

Because they really
Don't exist - or at least not
In the way you think.

BONUS HAIKU: 'Wealth ain't natural in this state of things'

Why is a hermit
Poor? Because it's the fallen
world's default setting.

Now get back to work!